Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in

Damn, is it almost the new year, already? Guess I overslept.

No, I didn't get a chance to sleep in. Not until Sunday, at least. Even then, sleeping in would imply that I consciously chose to not wake up. That's what happens when you ask for days off, and the boss-man says, "Can't you work even a little?"

You end up work crappy opening short-shifts when your family paid money to fly in to visit you. Grrrrrr.

Anyhow. The fam was there, my Steph was there, and the illimitable Tony was there. Much holiday cheer was spread. We held debates (a common pastime with the Bestul clan), ate fine meals, and visited the Carnegie Museum. Highlight: Steph (an Art major) looks at the gallery title ("Art Now"), looks around, and simply says... "That's really depressing."

A truer phrase was never uttered abut the state of modern art. Or is that Modern art? Even Postmodern has its uninspiring points.

Bah. Back to painting and killing pixelated enemies.

Thursday, December 25, 2003

What day is it?

'Tis a happy day, 'tis. The family is flying in as I type, and the Stephy will be boarding a train tonight... (Too bad I still have to work a couple short shifts... grrr)

Oh... and the mysterious project is coming to fruition. You may notice the new link on the right-hand side of the screen. A new era is beginning...

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

the Holidays?

Let's get the depressing shite out of the way, first. I broke my roommate's computer. It's only superficial (the hinge), but a hassle and an eventual expense. I feel like a massive dumb ass.

On to the stuff that kept me from going ballistic at work today:

1) Co-worker Geoff finds the Ziggy Stardust... CD filed where "Stardust" would fall in the alphabet. His confused experession is priceless.
(Ladies and gents, if you don't know that Ziggy Stardust is a DAVID BOWIE creation, perhaps you should not work in music retail.)

2) Co-worker Paul points out an interesting phenomenon. It's the day before Christmas, and our customer population is overwhelmingly male. Not exactly a shining moment for our gender.

3) Worker J. (me) realizes that we're suddenly out of "Sex and the City" DVDs.
Coincidence?

4) After some minor transgression (such as mis-placing some paper or leaving the toilet seat up), Geoff loudly announces that the next time he sees the transgressing co-worker, he will definitely kick said co-worker in the balls.

(Methinks the real humor in the last statement comes from the fact that Geoff is a laissez-faire kind of guy. Remember the axiom of the Humor Alchemist:

Incongruity = comedy gold.)

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Oh, yeah. Merry Christmas, too. Almost forgot about that.

Monday, December 22, 2003

"Do not qvestion tse mighty Ob-nauticus!"

'Tis the season, ladies and germs!

Season for what, I don't know. I've spent too much of it in retail. Normally, this would be a massive burnout. Thankfully, I have a new project that is keeping me fresh and creative. AND, Steph (and my family) is coming over for the holidays. Yay!

The shots of Jack Daniels are helping out right now, too. Mix that with SoBe energy drinks and Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and I'm good. In the words of Er, "Let's get drunk and rip off a ten-speed!"

Saturday, December 20, 2003

Rations

The food is running low... I don't know if we'll last through the holiday season. I braved the daunting weather earlier, just for a simple helping of pizza.

Mental Note: Don't get food from a convenience store on FRIDAY after midnight... at least, when your neighborhood has a number of bars. Not exaclty a fun evening.

However, there is a top secret project going on at the Casa de Dourmonte. You've been warned.

Friday, December 19, 2003

My life is complete

No, not really. But I did see Return of the King.

That's it.

Although... I am working on a few rants. I had a Patriot Act post I'm working on... MB beat me to it, though. However, I'm formulating rough drafts for a two-part rant, Reclaiming the Words, or some-such nonsense. The two words? Liberal and Patriot, words firmly in the grasp of the Right. And any time either side has a hold, it's'a no good.

(Really, though why am I doing this? I'm a centrist with left leanings... I dunno. It just needs to be done, I guess.)

Monday, December 15, 2003

Happy Birthday, the Milk!

Wow... I'm so proud. Today was the one month anniversary of the gallon of milk in our fridge. Tony and I bought a cake, and held a surprise party for the milk. After the clock chimed midnight, we tossed the month-old milk out into the trash...

...because, seriously, it was expanding gaseously. And it was leaking noxious fumes.

Ah, milk... you were such a constant part of our lives. We will never forget you.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

National Burnout Day

There's a novel idea. We'll celebrate the level of creative burnout that society loves to exact upon its populace.

Anyway... a few days break, and I'll be back to my rantin' self. Hell, I've even started working on The Fool again. The last time I did that was a month after I graduated. Good start, at least.

(For the unawares, The Fool was my grand scheme for a full-length play. It's in various stages of drafting, kinda like my version of "the novel I'm working on." Twisted and dark, like I like 'em.)

This is a surprising fact, considering I've worked constant turnaround shifts, had a regional visit, corporate pressure to sell more bullchit (see previous post), and an article/column that's finally posted on 210west.com. It's not even a day old, and already I've been flamed for lacking research and lacking a clue.

Folks, here is where our friend irony stops by. You can call me verbose. I may not always agree, but I am oft guilty of being just that. However, to say that I need to do more research is like saying Bill Gates needs more money. You laugh, and then become puzzled as you realize whoever said it was being serious.

Update: Well, after a typically-tinged response from J., the flaming has subsided. Hopefully. Probably. Maybe.

Friday, December 05, 2003

Nevermind

Not but two minutes ago, this was going to be a rant about the Great Wide/Full Screen Debate (there is none... Fullscreen DVDs are pointless). However, I've given up on that. All the rage is seeping out into the cold night air... leaving me really bloody cold.

Ladies and germs, I want you to go out of your way to go down to your nearest Musicland establishment (Sam Goody, Media Play, Suncoast). Pay with plastic, doesn't matter what you get. When the associate asks you about Entertainment Weekly, politely inform him/her that you have no interest in said offer. Then, politely again, ask them to mention to his/her manager and district manager that such shady offers make you want to shop at other establishments.

Maybe, that way, we can all get J. fired from his underpaying job. Then, perhaps, I'd have the time to look into other avenues.

I seriously cannot believe that a retail company would emphasize efficient profits over repeat customers, even when said profits annoy customers to the point of class-action lawsuits.

Fuck this.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Dream Theater: Scourge of Humanity?

Or, at least, to my friggin' ears.

So, I've had veiled threats on my job. Not just me, but the entire staff. "Pick up the numbers... or else." By "numbers," they don't mean revenue. That's been spectacular. No, they're talking about the bullchit "Strategic Initiatives" that "drive sales" (i.e., Entertainment Weekly subscriptions). Ladies and germs, whenever there are that many quotation marks in a paragraph, the corporate boys and girls (mostly boys) have had the expensive surgery to transplant their brains into their ass.

Not surprisingly, all the steps of the hierarchy are leaning heavily on the one below them. Trickle... all... the way... down. Yesterday, il Duce takes control to demonstrate how to get our numbers up... and runs into the South Hills Village crowd. In other words, despite his definite retail skills, 4 hours resulted in a number of 0's. By this time, he's a cursing ball of frustration. Welcome to our world, Mr. Manager.

He then goes in back to train new hires, and puts on Dream Theater.

Bastard.

If you've never heard the excrement that is DT, imagine Megadeth without ANY talent, skill, or creativity. Now, I enjoy the occasional rocking out, but this was just terrible. AND it was being played in-store. AND, of course, irate customers were looking at me like I was a plague... because, obviously, the guy in all black, wearing rings/chain, with the goatee... HE (me) picked the muzac.

Grrrrr...

Meanwhile, my roommate (the illimitable Tony) was being audited by his company, on his day off. Well, his store was. It will probably be a less-than-good grade, which is utter bullchit. You see, Tony runs a tight ship, and holds his employees to exacting standards.

All this bitching and rambling has a point, surprisingly. Well, probably not to you. It's to justify the massive purchase of alcohol Tony and I made last night. I had my friend Drambuie, his brother Jack, and his other brother Jack. (But stay away from that Melon liquoeuar. That shit's nasty.)

Oh, and by the way... playing Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior while drunk is a true experience. not necessarily good, but definitely "true." Whatever that means. After all, it does have quotation marks around it...

-J.