Last week I had the strangest dream...

A little Postal Service there for the kids.

Seriously, everybody's been posting dreams. So here's one to run by your nearest Psych major:

There's a middle-aged newscaster sitting at a desk. The graphics on screen indicate a news channel akin to CNN or FoxNews. The man is wearing a hat that resembles the offspring of a Russian bearskin cap and an upper Midwest hunting cap. He then procedes to recite the entire alphabet in a straightforward and journalistic manner. When he reaches 'Z', that's when I wake up.

And I return.

Finally got the new designs up, started on the first Mythos essay, almost killed my computer. Don't worry, it would have been justified compicide.

Missing from the Grammys...

OK, there were a number of things missing. There was a missing Janet (and her "boobaroon"), a missing (functional) microphone for Celine Dion, and a missing spark. Nobody wanted to take risks.

However, the most disturbing MIAs were a number of musicians from Cuba. Instead, musician/producer Ry Cooder was the only one there to accept their awards.

I was introduced to Ry Cooder in the summer of 1999. Working in a video store, I finally got a chance to see Wim Wenders' amazing documentary, Buena Vista Social Club. In fact, I enjoyed so much that it was my favored movie for in-store play in the morning.

The movie follows Ry and Wim as they attempt to discover the artists of Cuba and their music, which has been missing from the world ever since Castro took over. If you haven't seen the film, it's easily worth (at least) a rental. In addition, Ry Cooder and the musicians of the Buena Vista Social Club worked together for a live performance in the States, as well as an amazing album.

Of course, that was before 9/11... and before the current administration's terror-inspired restrictions. Add to the fact that Cuba is the "big bad enemy" in this hemisphere, and it's a good thing that Buena Vista Social Club was made before the reign of W.

This brings us back last week's Grammy awards. Ry Cooder won the award for Best Pop Instrumental Album for Mambo Sinuendo, a collaboration with Cuban musician Manuel Galban. Mr. Galban could not be present to accept the award, because he was denied a visa.

Isolated case? Nope. Also missing was the winner of Best Traditional Tropical Album, Ibrahim Ferrer. Anyone who's seen Buena Vista Social Club will remember Ferrer, an energetic singer whose voice filled Carnegie Hall like few others can. However, despite the fact that he's performed in Amsterdam and New York, Ferrer's visa application was rejected.

But the Terrorists Will Get You! travel guidelines aren't only denying artists their moment of praise. They're also making future collaborations difficult. Speaking about possible future Cuban collaborations, Cooder is quoted as saying, "It's been made pretty clear to me I'm not supposed to consider going down there anymore."

Excellent. It's a good thing that our government is protecting us from a tiny island nation that is no threat to us. It's always good to stifle art for the sake of... what? Not national security. C'mon. It's Cuba. Ohhhh... right, the severe trade embargoes... those old Cuban musicians might slip in some contraband.

Whatever. We can have a military prison in their country, but we can't allow them here to accept a Grammy. What the hell is happening?

Sources: PBS Online, The New York Times (2/9/04, pg. B5), and the wonderful film (and album) Buena Vista Social Club.

Where's Ari Fleischer when you need him?

So, I'm watching Scott McClellan field questions about W.'s service in the Air National Guard. Honestly, I think this is a minor point brought up by Democratic opponents. However, Mr. McClellan's ineptness is really turning this into a major question on the Bush camp's credentials. It's like watching a train wreck. No creativity, no adaptability. I've heard him repeat the "talking points" over and over, and (combined with the Meet the Press interview) it just adds to this presidency's appearance of insincerity.

The Life and Times of Fortunato Plethora

That sounds like a damned good story title, doesn't it? No surprise there, as Sig. Plethora is a man who crafts some fine fiction.

Before I get too deep, let me clarify the status of Fortunato Plethora. I just referred to him as a "man." In all reality, the person who crafts Plethora's words might be male, female, or other. We don't know. All we know is that his/her/its nickname is "bcool57."

However, the persona that is Fortunato Plethora is distinctly male, so I will refer to him as such.

I realize that many of you may have never had the displeasure of meeting Sig. Plethora. He is not a man of subdued passions or delicate language. He tells you what he thinks, what he knows... for he is Fortunato Plethora.

Sig. Plethora is a man of varied tastes. When he's driving down the interstate, he prefers the Beach Boys or the Rolling Stones. When he's home, he loves watching the Hollywood happenings. Whether it's the Academy Awards or a holiday parade, you can count Fortunato in... especially if Keanu Reeves or Sean McLaughlin are taking part in the action.

But Fortunato Plethora is also a man who likes his classics. He likes them almost as much as his exclamation points! You'll find him poring over movies such as Westworld and Bullitt, or actors such as those crazy ol' Marx brothers.

In fact, that's how I met Sig. Plethora. I was researching the specs of a new Marx brothers box set, hoping it might have the DVD versions of the films I crave. Instead, I found review after review that warned me against purchasing an obvious rip-off.

That is, until I met Fortunato Plethora.

He read those other reviews. He has no idea what they reviews were talking about. Why would anyone want to own movies that you could rent? This collection is their highlights! The best moments of their career! And he knows, for he is Fortunato Plethora!

Wait... Highlights? I've read the biographies of all the brothers, and none of the stuff in this box set was ever really considered to be great moments in the Marx era. Recalling my years of speech, debate, and journalism experience, I did what one does when one's evidence conflicts. I looked at the sources.

What kind of credentials does Fortunato Plethora have? Besides the aforementioned nickname, his "residence" in Sorehhole, CA, there are only his reviews on Amazon.com. Having little else, I plunged into them. Of the ten reviews, eight were for Koch Entertainment DVDs, one Passport Int'l. DVD, and one book. The book review did nothing but promote one of the Koch DVDs... Hrm. Something seems off.

Then, after clicking on each individual product, did I learn the nefarious truth. My heart was broken, my trust shattered, their pieces falling to the floor and intermingling. Fortunato Plethora... was a corporate shill. His sole purpose was to give good reviews to low-quality, deceptively-packaged DVDs from Koch. Much like the predatory tribute CDs lurking in your nearest music store, these DVDs will make you regret their purchase the second you crack the seal.

I do not know when I will meet Sig. Plethora again... Probably when Koch Entertainment releases another scam DVD. Until then, I will always hear his words, ringing hollow in my memory for all the years to come:

"I should know, for I am Fortunato Plethora!"

Stra-TEE-gery

People can bitch about parity in the NFL, but after seeing the Super Bowl last night, they can suck it. That is quite possibly one of the greatest gridiron battles I have witnessed in years. Yeah, the Panthers looked a little lacking in playoff experience, but...

Wait...she did WHAT?!

::J. checks the news wires::

DAMNIT!! That was the only time I wasn't watching the game! What the crap?! I spent the entire time watching the game when I should have passed out, and I miss the one moment of porn.

::sigh::

Anyway... I got the chance to bond with my extended family, and say my final farewell to my grandfather. It felt good. Sad, but good. Updates can be expected now. First order of busniess: fixing the Hotmail snafu so as to be able to implement MB's new designs for the rest of my hub. Gods bless that lass. She's so cool.